I have had the abundant privilege to welcome six newborns into this world on five separate occasions. After you have had the joy of having three children or at least two children the same gender you start to see how God hand picks them. They are rarely little clones... maybe in features but rarely in personality. We parents are the vehicles the Lord uses to bring life to this world, but He is the one who plans how they will look, what their temperament will be like, what their strengths and gifts will be, what things they will be drawn to and the list goes on. He hand picks these little lives to come in their perfect timing of our world, despite all the bad that is going on because they have the ability to bring light and life to this fallen world.
When baby # 4 & 5 (and now # 6) have come along, I have continually been amazed at the human heart and it's ability to instantly and fiercely love a life that is seconds old like its been around forever. I see God's love and devotion for me in such new light every time I have had another child. I see God's greatness in his creation... I am always in awe, of the tiny hands, and precious lips, the squishy stretching, and the balled up tiny human body that was just on the inside of me and now inside my arms. God does miracles every time a child is born.
I carried quite a bit of emotions in the duration of my pregnancy with Salem and I knew God in his faithful timing would show up during her birth and speak to me... and let me tell you He Did. When she was about 40 hrs old, in the wee hours of the night, God showed up and shared so much with me that I will never forget those moments of staring at her from 2am - 4am and thanking God for his Freedom and love. I am amazed at how faithful He really is. I shouldn't be but I am, because I don't want to lose the wonder I have in God's provision. He has done enough for me already and yet in such details in life He shows up and makes freedom take place. I don't feel free to share all that took place that night, but it was good and encouraging and a true blessing to my heart.
Some of the great revelations I have had over the past few weeks have been on how incredibly full and beautiful heaven is REALLY going to be. I LOVE newborns. They smell fresh from heaven, they coo the most precious sound whether sleeping or awake. They are 100% dependent upon love, safety, nurture, closeness, and caring arms that delicately protect them... and they don't doubt, they just trust.
I see Jesus and all He did for me, in the sleeping eyes of a newborn. He pursued me and sacrificed for me. I am to love and depend on him with that same amount of unfailing trust. I am so challenged and encouraged in my intimacy with Jesus in these first weeks. It makes me yearn for this type of peace all the time but I know we will ONLY have glimpses of it here on earth. Yet we will experience it for eternity once we are home.
Salem is precious and those first moments of holding her while I was on the operating table brought me such incredible fulfillment & joy. The details of her life won't be pain-free but we will do all we can to navigate her journey through childhood with Joy. It's supposed to be our strength and we long to keep our hope in Jesus as we are entrusted with her life and all of our other children.
I am personally moved by her story, I have known from the moment we started down this path, that God was leading us, Not us asking God for it... but I don't know how to help others steer down this road. Pray for me to hear from the Lord and how I can continue to have a voice for other beautiful children JUST like Salem, the ones that are healthy and waiting on someone to step up and make their life count.
On a lighter note, she has gained almost 2 lbs exactly in her first 3 1/2 weeks of life. I'd say this girl is healthy! All my other kids gained that much too... only they all started out around 6 lbs or lighter! My body does a newborn good! I am thankful God has blessed me with the ability to nourish my children... Something I was against trying when I was pregnant with my first born. But God led my heart down a tender road of trust and I fell in love with the way God made my body to nourish. I may not have had an easy way of getting them here, but I get the joy of picking them up feeding them and knowing they are growing.
Thank you to each of you that have taken part of our journey personally and prayed for all of us. We are in awe of God, when she was just days old our amazing pediatrician prayed over Salem, about How much God cares for her and that just like in horton hears a who "a person is a person no matter how small"! The prayer was much longer than that and it was so incredible!
I mean look at those features... God preserved her little life! She was frozen for FIVE years and all of her tiny body was protected. Now she is a living and breathing testimony at 10 lbs 13 oz.
Enjoy your week... I will continue to hold sweet Salem, let my hair be dirty, watch my laundry pile up and probably cry when our first smile milestone meets us sometime in the next week.
