She has a name...

We spent quite a bit of time in prayer over it, and I honestly got to a point where I was obsessing over it. Like in constant search... JR had felt led to read a portion of scripture in Isaiah in early January, that inspired the direction of what "we" thought we should speak over her name and its meaning. It was stuff like we "desired her", "she was sought after", and "how her life was honored" etc. But every time we would settle on a name idea to begin praying over, I would get very uneasy about it and I would begin to look again. I listed all the crazy name rules in a recent post, and those rules were making the potential options very limited. Yet I was determined to stick to them.

So this one Sunday morning a little over a month ago, I woke up groggy from the endless name searching I had done the night before, I rolled over and grabbed my phone and opened up the bible app, and picked up reading where I had left off the day before. I began reading in Hebrews chapter 4. I read through all of ch 4, 5 and 6. As I was transitioning from chapter 6 to 7 I was fascinated with the story of King Melchizedek... and what his name meant and that the bible referenced the city he was from and what the cities name meant. As I was reading I was reminded of a distant friend's daughter who I know of (because of facebook) named after this city, I thought in prayer, "oh wow, I have never seen that before in your word, I would just LOVE it if you would speak to us in your word about her name." I went on about our day (thinking nothing of that morning and my reading time). That evening, I was laying in bed and once again began obsessively searching for name meanings. I went to bed super excited thinking I had a great idea and couldn't wait to share it with JR. 

I shared my idea with him early the next morning, it fit with our desires of what to speak over her, he thought it was cute but it didn't scream out "YES that is her name, to him. That evening I had a friend stop by, we caught up on life, I shared with her my hectic naming dilemma but how I had this "specific" idea and as I was telling her the name, I began to instantly doubt it was the right name for her. So after my girlfriend left I went to bed with arms up in surrender. I began to pray this prayer "Lord you KNOW her name, you know what we are to speak over her, she was your idea long before she was ours, I give up my rules, my ideas and my searching madness. If you want to withhold this from us until the day she is born, I will trust you with it and I will stop looking and wait for you to speak to us".

I got a great night of sleep that night! The next morning I was doing school with Foster in the morning, while he was doing an assignment, I briefly checked my FB messages. I did say in my last post, if you hear from the Lord send me an email! I was saying it with a bit of sarcasm, but I had received some genuine messages from some of you that I took to heart. That morning was one of them. I opened up my email and I read these words:

"King Melchizedek" from the City of Salem

Salem = Peace

THOSE words might as well have walked up onto my doorstep and unpacked their bags because I instantly felt the presence of the Lord all over that message. I had JUST read this story two days before saying to the Lord "You can speak to me in your word like this" but NOT paying any attention to the very passage I was reading. I trusted the woman who wrote the message. She too is an incredible mother to small children who names her children with the same fervent prayer and intention. 

I immediately sensed my need pray over this. The idea of speaking "peace" over our baby was something I had not even thought of. To be honest I questioned why? I sat on my bed and said out loud "Ok Lord, I am willing to consider this name but what does "peace" have to do with her story? and in the most audible sound in my heart... I heard "EVERYTHING". Instantly her story fled through my mind, all the details, the beauty of it and the hard parts that could be difficult to understand. It was like a puzzle missing one piece fell perfectly into place, peace made so much sense. If she walks with peace in Jesus then she will be able to handle all of her story. 

I decided to let it set in my heart and the following evening I began to share with JR how I was reading in the book of Hebrews on Sunday not thinking anything of it, then how I surrendered my obsessive search on Monday night, and then Tuesday morning, I received an email about the name "Salem = peace". I told him how I had been praying over it and that I waited to share it with him and that the idea of speaking peace over her made so much and sense. He looked at me with the most engaged look and said "that is it, that sits so right with me". He knew immediately and that was it.

We have now spent the past month calling her by name and each time we speak it out its like life is being spoken forth over her. Its awesome! We waited to share so it was fully ours. and it is now. So this miracle baby girl who is growing PERFECTLY in my womb (to the day) EVEN after being frozen for 5 YEARS has an identity that we fully believe the Lord gave her. Salem August Shepard Dakin. She is Salem which means peace, She is August which has a double meaning, August means exalted and revered and it IS the month that she became ours. She is Shepard sort of as a name sake to the other embryo that didn't implant, it was going to be the name for a son and the significance of what Jesus spoke about being a shepard to his sheep. We are speaking a heart of compassion and the desire to care for others over her.

There you have it... I have shared most of what went into naming our girl. We are set and thankful to call her by name. She is becoming a family member that each one of us loves and cares for. Thank you to everyone who continues to pray for us and share our story. Its all about giving God the stage of our life and when get to give him glory for the moments in our life it reminds us of how we ARE are apart of HIS story and not just an ordinary one we are just living. 

We desire to live out each day with intention to honor Him. We long to teach our kids how to choose Him and not their selfishness. Its easy to choose us over Him... And as individuals and parents JR and I are FAR from good at it... but being apart of His story strengthens our faith in Him. His longing to be apart of our life, and to lead us and teach us dependence, surrender, and freedom in Him are a day to day way of living. Some days are better than others. We just wake up and walk in a deep gratefulness that his mercies are new EVERY morning. He portrays the greatest example of love to us as He keeps no record of wrongs. Thankful for all Jesus did for us. Because of Him the slate can be wiped clean always. Surrender, Repentance, Freedom those are the steps to a love of no record keeping.

We love our girl and although I complain about pregnancy I am thankful for it. It has slowed me down, and deeply reminded me how vulnerable I am and how desperate I am for Jesus. I can't do my role in my life without him.

Thank you Jesus for our sweet Salem girl, she is your gift and your blessing to us and we are thrilled you have called us to have her in our home. I pray that others would be inspired to look past their circumstances and be open to stepping into a faith filled adventure. Give up your protected schedule, busy life, limited bank account and rescue a child, don't wait for a flashing billboard, step out in faith and know it WILL be challenging, it WILL make you vulnerable, you will feel doubt, but when did God wait to draw you into his family? He longs for everyone to know Him. so doesn't he long for each of us to step out and bring a life home that needs it? The reason the work is plenty and workers are few is because only a few respond to his call...  His story of redemption for us is a picture of what he wants us to do for others...  REDEEM those who cannot do for themselves.

The ways to do this are endless... adopt domestically, adopt internationally, sign up to be a foster parent, Be wild and crazy about abortion and adopt an embryo not because YOU want another child but because over half a million healthy embryos are sitting frozen waiting for a healthy womb and a willing family.... Don't be afraid, be moved.