208 days pregnant... who's counting?

I am a few days shy of 30 weeks pregnant. I have this fond memory of week 30 of my pregnancy with Betsy. She was my 4th child but it was my 3rd full term pregnancy. I was in pregnant mommy bliss with our first born, don't get me wrong I still got sick, I was just so thankful that I was pregnant that I took it all in joyful stride. Then I experienced the "wow's" of carrying multiples, haha more like woes! So with baby #4, pregnancy #3, I was slightly seasoned with the logistics of what nine months looked and felt like. I had a small crew of 3 kiddos running around and I had a lot of physical hip pain, which caused me to sit around a lot. So When the 30th week of pregnancy rolled around that time, I remember thinking "oh so positively" that it's just a 10 week count down, it should go fast...

She was born 7 weeks later (that was a big surprise)! My water broke, but she was not anywhere near ready for her arrival. I ended up with my second c-section, something I did not want. So with baby #5, I had high hopes to have a slightly early arriver with the desire that I could v-back (after two surgeries), yeah my body does not do what its supposed to do. She was prudent in her arrival, showing up exactly as scheduled according to the hospital's convenience. At exactly 39 weeks along. 

Now, this post is NOT going to be a rant about how much I DISLIKE c-sections. Let's just say, if I could be the writer of my birthing experiences they would most likely have ended up in my home or something close to that. But life is not full of what we want... it's full of what we are blessed with even if it's different than our opinion.

So I am here to say, that although I have worked hard at staying somewhat physically active, I've done it with ulterior motives. I have motivated myself since I was 15 weeks pregnant to exercise 3 times a week. I have been pretty darn faithful to my love of Crossfit. My ability to do things has become much less, but I have done it all with this hovering desire that MAYBE if my body is in decent shape then... could I get this precious little baby to just fall out of my body the right way??? Its been an excellent motivator. Until my most recent OB appt. 

But let's back up to a few months ago though first: I asked my doctor around 4 months along if I could NOT schedule surgery this time around and just go until my due date. You know see if my body went into labor super fast and it didn't last long and wasn't hard on her or my scar... (Haha here's me dreaming) honestly my desire to have her the normal way has not been to jeopardize her health or mine. I have just had the amazing opportunity of meeting ONE of my kids immediately after birth through embrace and there is NOTHING like that moment. 

But at the most recent OB visit I found out my placenta is anterior. It's on the front of my belly, it's like a buffer between her and my tummy, so her movement is more muffled. Not normally a big deal in pregnancy, except in my case since I have been cut open 3 times previously I have a lot of scar tissue that "could" cause my placenta to grab on to my uterus and make a permanent home in the lining wall. Which could end up causing major complications in delivery. I somewhat laughed when the doc was telling me about it, and he said "this could be serious, if the placement of your placenta is low enough,  you could end up with a hysterectomy or lose parts of other organs ... you could even bleed to death".  "Hello... ok I will stop laughing, but I am not fretting either. God is good to our hearts and he prepares us in the smallest ways. I didn't walk out of the office in shambles. I took the info in stride and thanked the Lord for his provision at the moment and for the delivery. I was more bothered that my plans to sabotage another c-section had been thwarted. 

I mean unless I cough and she falls out, there is NO way she will arrive without the knife. My doctor has put the kibosh on me even laboring a little bit. It's sad, but I am a big girl, I won't whine about it. well maybe a little bit on the 2nd and 3rd day post surgery.

I don't mean to sound silly, but I really dislike the recovery of c-sections not to mention the actual meeting of the precious life I have been carting around for 10 months, on a table all doped up... not a fun first moment. I have spent quite a bit of time in prayer over it and God is good regardless of my feelings and opinions. I mean my perspective is raw and real before him. I have my desires but I desire Him more than outcomes. I like having a portion of my story I can't control, God is incredibly faithful. I trust Him. I have been blessed with five incredibly healthy children and I deeply know that. I am pretty thrilled that I will be enamored and so in love in just 11 short weeks regardless of how she arrives.

In other news, I have had a heck of a month! After I announced Salem's precious name, a few days later I spent a week in an intense "potty camp" with our youngest. Willow is now all ready to hand over her baby title to little Miss Salem. We are paci free and daytime diaper free! She wears a pull up to bed, but I am sure it won't be for long, she wakes up dry pretty often!

I told the kids the other day that Salem can hear them talking if they get close enough, so now they are always telling her things. A few night ago, they all picked a book and took turns reading to her! It was precious!

I have another doc appt next week, so I might try to give a quick update after that. Have an awesome rest of your week. 

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor 4:18